after eating what was a ton of vegetables at dinner, not all that long after eating nuts, I was in PAIN again last night, and couldn't even make it to see my herbalist. that REALLY sucks.

on the plus side, it's a gorgeous day. maybe I'll go skating.

breakfast:
soup
cinnamon coconut bread, again

lunch:
roast beef
coconut oil
small piece of sugar-and-grain-free cake
cheese

dinner:
chicken
salad
broccoli
aforementioned cake
americano w/cream & sweetener

oh good. and once again, cream day 1.

I'm seeing my herbalist tonight for a checkup. I guess dyeing my hair and getting a pedicure, so my system will be loaded with chemicals that I normally stay away from, is a super great idea right beforehand, right? ha!

I am still pretty sore from tuesday's huge skatefest. not as sore as yesterday, thank jebus, but still pretty fricking sore.

(I keep tracking what day I have to start the herbalist's cream on here because I'm pretty bad with standard issue calendars.)

breakfast:
yogurt w/nuts and coconut
roast beef

lunch:
soup
cheese
americano w/cream & sweetener

snack (I know, I know...)
yogurt w/nuts and coconut

dinner:
chicken
roast beef (small slice...don't know why I felt I needed to specify)
salad w/homemade vinaigrette
broccoli
butter

snack:
coconut flour cinnamon bread (small piece)

I don't know what's making me rebel against my no-nuts, and today no-snack, thing. I may take my ban off sweets but keep no snacks and no seconds. then later, take the sweets back off. look at me backpedaling and justifying my own BS. hahaha...ah well. :) I don't want to drive myself insane(er), is all.

I saw shoes that I loved a couple of weeks ago for $65. I seriously ached over not buying them. today, I found them and decided to just buck up and pay. my total, including tax? just over $16! holy discount batman. stores that indiscriminately put things in clearance, then take 50% off, rule.

breakfast:
eggs
bacon
ham
chorizo
coffee w/cream & stevia

lunch:
americano w/cream & stevia
yogurt (trying to get in some good bacteria after the stomach hell I went through)
nuts

dinner:
pork chop
chicken
broccoli
butter
coconut oil

I'd put a roast in the oven in the afternoon on low heat so I can eat it for the next couple of days. I had an early dinner, did a bunch of errands and went to my sister's and came home with horrible hunger pangs...so I had a small piece of the roast. maybe I shouldn't have. but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get to sleep feeling that hungry. d'oh.

feeling almost better.

I'm still suffering from my epic day of carbs, a bit. so not only am I paying involuntarily, I paid voluntarily today by skating for close to 3 hours! I fear for my legs! hahaha! fun, and painful.

breakfast:
pork chops
egg

lunch:
pork chop
coconut oil
americano w/cream & sweetener

dinner:
coconut water
ground beef
salsa
cheese
sour cream
few bites of chicken
small handful of walnuts.

so they say...

...that the worst cheat is the one you get away with. if that's the case, then I've had the best cheat of all time. I was up for a good chunk of the night with HORRIBLE stomach pains, and I still feel ill today. so to fix, I'm eating almost zero-carb, and tons of probiotics. back to no snacks tomorrow. I have paid.

breakfast:
ground beef
coconut oil

snack 1:
egg

snack 2:
egg
cheese

dinner:
chicken
cheese

weekend...off.

ok, so saturday wasn't too horrible, I had maybe a quarter cup, max, of hashbrowns, and outside of too many nuts (damned portability), an on-plan kind of day. I walked and skated for close to 8 hours altogether. maybe a little less, but not much. now I realize why my legs and feet are so sore today.

sunday, on the other hand, was a gong show, diet-wise. I now am bloated and breaking out in rashes. I may have another cheat day in the future, but it's well and truly out of my system.

anyhoo...on to monday. :) perhaps a day of zero-carb will kick my ass into better gear.

almost d-day!

d-day, as in derby day. ha! tomorrow, I will be tied up with all things derby related from about 9:30 am until at least 10 pm. I'm excited, bout days are a blast! but it's mercury retrograde, and I have a technical position. gah.

I'm still feeling anxiety attack-ish. I'm lifting my nuts-only-on-weekends rule for a bit, simply because I don't need one more thing to stress over. and because I had a few nuts at breakfast and don't want to do my usual beating up of myself. will it impact weight loss? well...everything does, food in general does, to me anyway. it just sucks, because I know eating the low-fat, high carb way makes me feel much, much worse, and also ends up in me gaining weight instead of maintaining or losing at a slug's pace. I'm frustrated, but this is simply how I eat now. hopefully my stupid body will start doing what it's always done in the past when presented with low-carb: drop weight without so much struggle. full-on cheating will land me back where I started, and I don't ever want that again.

breakfast:
yogurt
handful of nuts
chayote squash
roast beef

lunch:
roast beef (I'm redundant)
americano w/cream and sweetener

dinner:
mashed cauliflower
roast beef
cheese
nut bar