argh...the hormones are the ones driving today!

right.

breakfast:
bacon
eggs

snack:
nuts
chocolate

lunch/snacks (post bout, I was starving and made bad choices...)
mexican dip (all legal) with about 4 tortilla chips
couple of small handfuls (literally about 2, maybe less) of chips and plain popcorn
small piece of cake (and I really do mean a small piece)
tried to balance with a couple of strawberries, some ham, and cheese...d'oh.

because I'll be all over the place tomorrow, I won't be logging my menu. I don't intend to eat crap again, but if I do, back on the wagon on monday. le sigh.

dinner:
piece of steak cooked in coconut oil
chicken thigh
salad w/ranch
(figured I'd go with fat and meat to get back on track, argh)
nuts & chocolate

later:
some coconut custard, was testing a recipe.

thinking of the weekend with knocking knees

I am! too much going on, as per usual. I have practice tonight and sunday night. the kicker is that my toe blistered, then the skin under the blister blistered. I don't know if I'll be able to skate at all tonight. but the practice space tonight is cool at least, so maybe I'll just go, see what I can do, and bail if my toe is killing me. I have the option to not go at all on sunday. maybe I'll take it. dither, dither.

saturday, I have a scrimmage to ref, then a birthday party, then another party after the birthday party. I'm tired just thinking of it.

sunday, it's my mom's birthday, then I have to RUSH out to get a tattoo, then possibly practice again. gah. every damn year, there is too much going on on her birthday and it sucks. there's also a concert I want to go to that night, but I think I'm the only one who wants to go out of all my friends. meh.

breakfast:
yogurt w/brownie bits and nuts
cheese

lunch:
cheese
pork rinds w/sour cream
weird coffee protein shake (ice cubes, instant decaf, cocoa, HWC, half and half, whey protein powder, sweetener)

dinner:
peppers
cheese
weird protein shake (see lunch, minus coffee, plus coconut oil and peanut butter)

later...
1 small handful of popcorn, I'm not sure how that's going to work with me.

last night's scrimmage was l-o-n-g. I'm a bit concerned about our practice spaces once the summer heat really kicks in. it's hard enough to be in them just standing there, but add hard exercise to the mix and...yech!

it's just maddening how there's NOWHERE to rollerskate in this town. we have to settle for lacrosse boxes, tennis courts, and dry-floor hockey and curling rinks when we're really lucky. oh, and this other practice space at a local university, where we have to practice during the winter, which is just barely covered and (when the snow/ice/etc kicks in) far colder than a witch's tit. not even to mention that the surface is so rough that if you skate on it in the wrong wheels, your teeth clatter. I guess that builds endurance, but man, that air shrinks your lungs. oh, for the days of several roller rinks in town. seattle skaters are SO lucky.

anyway, enough complaining!

breakfast:
bacon
yogurt w/nuts, strawberries, and a small crumbled up brownie
coconut oil
few additional nuts. heh.

lunch:
breakfast for lunch! eggs, chorizo, bacon, iced espresso w/cream & sweetener

dinner:
beanless turkey chili w/cheese & sour cream
nuts
chocolate (90% of course, blah blah blah)

I'm looking to test a couple of custard recipes. if all goes to plan, I'll be making a trifle for my mom's birthday on sunday. :)

whens-day

another graze-y day for me.

breakfast...spread out over a few hours:
brownie
few nuts
americano w/cream & sweetener

lunch:
cheese
few nuts
yogurt
strawberries
brownie (small one)

dinner:
beanless turkey chili
cheese
sour cream

so it's tuesday again.

skating time. my head still doesn't feel right, so I'm a bit concerned about the whole exertion/helmet combination. hopefully it'll be ok. I feel like such a colossal wimp.

breakfast:
bacon and eggs

skating: success!

lunch:
coconut water
steak cooked in coconut oil
broccoli slaw
few grape tomatoes

snack? does coffee count as a snack?:
what I wanted: iced espresso.
what I had: an odd coffee smoothie with a little heavy cream, almond milk, strong-as-balls decaf instant coffee, a little cocoa, and sweetener. oh yeah, and a scoop of protein powder, because the texture was bumming me out. and a LOT of ice. 20/30 retrospect: should have included coconut milk. duly noted.

anyway.

dinner:
chicken
gravy
cauliflower
broccoli
butter
peppers

later:
couple of big brownies MMMMMMM

ok, so I made brownies, I tweaked that recipe and they're lurvely. and lower in carbs. :)

let's play!

today's game is "what I WANTED to eat vs. what I actually ate". I'll post what I felt like eating, and then what I had instead. pretty exciting, I'm sure...zzzzzz...

breakfast:
what I wanted: yogurt. or bacon. or both. and an americano.
what I actually ate: few nuts, scrambled eggs with cheese, handful of pork rinds. and a square of chocolate. I'm weak and feel like I've had the crap beaten out of me by that headache. and clearly in the mood to justify my own BS. stop looking at me like that!!! ;)

lunch:
what I wanted: nuts and chocolate. and coffee. part of me wanted a steak.
what I actually ate: see above! the chocolate is 90% cocoa, very low in carbs, and I only had one square. heh. oh, and a piece of cheese.

dinner:
what I wanted: bbq steak
what I actually ate: roast chicken, mashed cauliflower w/gravy, roasted broccolini, chocolate mousse. I was in a cooking mood. I will have steak tomorrow!

also, I just saw an interview I did before the last bout. oh my god. GROSS. I mean, I was somewhat prepared with the low camera and such, but damn...that was not very nice to see.

sunday

I woke up this morning after having totally revolting dreams, and basically don't feel like being social, like the grody dreams are hanging off me like a smell. ha! of course, today I have to go to a jewelry party (which I do not want to go to), and then I have practice. which I feel nervous about, for some reason. every once in awhile, since my epic, back-injuring fall, skating rattles me. today is one of those days. but maybe I'll be over it by tonight.

edit: not only did I not get over it, my headache from the other night came back full-force and ended the practice early for me. booooo. I feel defeated. :(

breakfast:
yogurt w/crumbled nut bar and diced strawberries

lunch:
chicken
cheese
peppers
sour cream
nut bar

snack (at aforementioned jewelry party):
americano w/cream and sweetener
peppers
guacamole
chili dip

dinner:
chicken
salad
ranch dressing
nut bar (they're all finished now!)

after practice, we went to a gelato place. so rather than get one, and/or not try any at all, I tried tiny bits of several flavours that I'd never tried before. can't say it helped my headache or related upset stomach!

I ate a lot today, or so it appears. gaddamn.

lazy und graze-y

so i just kind of picked today. I didn't really have a set breakfast, lunch, or dinner. ok, dinner was kind of set:

brazil nuts (1 net carb per oz vs 2 for macadamia nuts??)
strawberries
nut bars
brownie (yes, just one)
americano w/cream and sweetener
cheese
chicken
salad
ranch dressing
yogurt

I think that's it! too much on the snacky and sweet side, but it IS the weekend. ;)

btw...I'm dying laughing at this. louis ck is my favourite comedian, and this is a clip from his special, Shameless. SO FUNNY! but tons of swearing, so NSFW, and if you're easily offended, don't click: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2lk1m_louis-ck-clip-from-shameless_fun

fr-eye-day

this has been a long week of nothing. if I'd known I was going to get 2 weeks off, I'd have planned to do something interesting. but no dice, alas.

breakfast:
bacon
eggs
brownie

lunch:
americano w/cream & sweetener
couple of strawberries
brazil nuts
small brownie

dinner:
short ribs
peppers

snack of sorts*:
small brownie
3 brazil nuts

*I got home from the scrimmage with a pretty nasty headache. advil + empty stomach = ouch, hence...wee snack. I wasn't hungry for it at all.

thirst-day

so I'm finding myself in this ungood state of procrastination these days. I AM a procrastinator by nature, unfortunately, but this is bad even for me! I meant to try out Lauren's new brownie recipe last night. I made them this morning. last night's dinner will be tonight's. and I was going to go skating, but decided to wait to see if my sister wants to go, effectively delaying anything else I want to do today. AND, I just now got off the phone with her, and she doesn't want to skate because she wants go to RUNNING. sheesh...bye bye hour of my life waiting to hear back! d'oh.

breakfast:
brazil nuts
strawberries
LC brownies (even though I'm supposed to wait until they're full cool to try, they are still awesome)

lunch:
broccoli slaw
bacon
cheese
another brownie! heh.

dinner:
thai green chicken curry (homemade, with stevia)
riced cauliflower
brownie

boy, did I have seconds of the chicken. oops!

wed

nesday! I'm feeling pretty cranky today. hopefully it'll lift soon.

breakfast:
handful of nuts
pound cake (it's almost finished now)

lunch:
americano w/cream & sweetener
chicken w/salad

snack:
brazil nuts
strawberries

dinner:
bbq hamburger patties w/sf ketchup and mustard
sausages (no grain, no sweetner)
veggies
sf chocolate mousse w/walnuts

tues

a skating day, yeah! I'm a bit sore, but good sore.

breakfast:
egg
bacon
piece of pound cake

lunch:
steak fajitas w/salsa, guacamole, sour cream
pound cake again

dinner:
chicken
salad
americano w/cream & sweetener
still more pound cake, heh!

monday

it's a long weekend here, and all I have to do today is putter around before going to a concert tonight. I wish I worked today.

breakfast:
bacon
eggs
few almonds

lunch:
broccoli slaw
cheese
strawberries & cream
low-carb, grain and sugar free pound cake

dinner:
tea w/cream & sweetener
chicken fajitas w/sour cream & salsa (no rice, beans, tortillas, etc)

oh for...

so my stomach is still not behaving. this is getting really old, really fast. also, I thought I had practice tonight, but I do not, which bums me out.

breakfast:
ricotta cheese "pudding"

lunch:
americano w/cream & sweetener
smokie w/mustard, no bun (yay street meat!)

snack:
nuts
1 square 90% cocoa chocolate

dinner:
salad
ranch dressing
zucchini lasagna
er...see "snack"
strawberries & HWC

I think I need to go shopping!

sorry about the width, BUT:



bwaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!

breakfast:
cheese
cake
nuts
(great breakfast, eh? it's saturday, I'm lazy and it'll probably be graze central unless I go somewhere today)

lunch:
see breakfast, minus nuts
iced americano w/cream and sweetener

dinner:
zucchini "noodle" lasagna

after eating what was a ton of vegetables at dinner, not all that long after eating nuts, I was in PAIN again last night, and couldn't even make it to see my herbalist. that REALLY sucks.

on the plus side, it's a gorgeous day. maybe I'll go skating.

breakfast:
soup
cinnamon coconut bread, again

lunch:
roast beef
coconut oil
small piece of sugar-and-grain-free cake
cheese

dinner:
chicken
salad
broccoli
aforementioned cake
americano w/cream & sweetener

oh good. and once again, cream day 1.

I'm seeing my herbalist tonight for a checkup. I guess dyeing my hair and getting a pedicure, so my system will be loaded with chemicals that I normally stay away from, is a super great idea right beforehand, right? ha!

I am still pretty sore from tuesday's huge skatefest. not as sore as yesterday, thank jebus, but still pretty fricking sore.

(I keep tracking what day I have to start the herbalist's cream on here because I'm pretty bad with standard issue calendars.)

breakfast:
yogurt w/nuts and coconut
roast beef

lunch:
soup
cheese
americano w/cream & sweetener

snack (I know, I know...)
yogurt w/nuts and coconut

dinner:
chicken
roast beef (small slice...don't know why I felt I needed to specify)
salad w/homemade vinaigrette
broccoli
butter

snack:
coconut flour cinnamon bread (small piece)

I don't know what's making me rebel against my no-nuts, and today no-snack, thing. I may take my ban off sweets but keep no snacks and no seconds. then later, take the sweets back off. look at me backpedaling and justifying my own BS. hahaha...ah well. :) I don't want to drive myself insane(er), is all.

I saw shoes that I loved a couple of weeks ago for $65. I seriously ached over not buying them. today, I found them and decided to just buck up and pay. my total, including tax? just over $16! holy discount batman. stores that indiscriminately put things in clearance, then take 50% off, rule.

breakfast:
eggs
bacon
ham
chorizo
coffee w/cream & stevia

lunch:
americano w/cream & stevia
yogurt (trying to get in some good bacteria after the stomach hell I went through)
nuts

dinner:
pork chop
chicken
broccoli
butter
coconut oil

I'd put a roast in the oven in the afternoon on low heat so I can eat it for the next couple of days. I had an early dinner, did a bunch of errands and went to my sister's and came home with horrible hunger pangs...so I had a small piece of the roast. maybe I shouldn't have. but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get to sleep feeling that hungry. d'oh.

feeling almost better.

I'm still suffering from my epic day of carbs, a bit. so not only am I paying involuntarily, I paid voluntarily today by skating for close to 3 hours! I fear for my legs! hahaha! fun, and painful.

breakfast:
pork chops
egg

lunch:
pork chop
coconut oil
americano w/cream & sweetener

dinner:
coconut water
ground beef
salsa
cheese
sour cream
few bites of chicken
small handful of walnuts.

so they say...

...that the worst cheat is the one you get away with. if that's the case, then I've had the best cheat of all time. I was up for a good chunk of the night with HORRIBLE stomach pains, and I still feel ill today. so to fix, I'm eating almost zero-carb, and tons of probiotics. back to no snacks tomorrow. I have paid.

breakfast:
ground beef
coconut oil

snack 1:
egg

snack 2:
egg
cheese

dinner:
chicken
cheese

weekend...off.

ok, so saturday wasn't too horrible, I had maybe a quarter cup, max, of hashbrowns, and outside of too many nuts (damned portability), an on-plan kind of day. I walked and skated for close to 8 hours altogether. maybe a little less, but not much. now I realize why my legs and feet are so sore today.

sunday, on the other hand, was a gong show, diet-wise. I now am bloated and breaking out in rashes. I may have another cheat day in the future, but it's well and truly out of my system.

anyhoo...on to monday. :) perhaps a day of zero-carb will kick my ass into better gear.

almost d-day!

d-day, as in derby day. ha! tomorrow, I will be tied up with all things derby related from about 9:30 am until at least 10 pm. I'm excited, bout days are a blast! but it's mercury retrograde, and I have a technical position. gah.

I'm still feeling anxiety attack-ish. I'm lifting my nuts-only-on-weekends rule for a bit, simply because I don't need one more thing to stress over. and because I had a few nuts at breakfast and don't want to do my usual beating up of myself. will it impact weight loss? well...everything does, food in general does, to me anyway. it just sucks, because I know eating the low-fat, high carb way makes me feel much, much worse, and also ends up in me gaining weight instead of maintaining or losing at a slug's pace. I'm frustrated, but this is simply how I eat now. hopefully my stupid body will start doing what it's always done in the past when presented with low-carb: drop weight without so much struggle. full-on cheating will land me back where I started, and I don't ever want that again.

breakfast:
yogurt
handful of nuts
chayote squash
roast beef

lunch:
roast beef (I'm redundant)
americano w/cream and sweetener

dinner:
mashed cauliflower
roast beef
cheese
nut bar

caution: another busy weekend ahead

I'm trying to figure out if there's anything I can do today to make for less to do tomorrow to prepare for saturday. silliness, really, but my time tomorrow is limited. I got called into work for friday, and have a concert to go to that night, not to mention driving all over hell's half acre after work for various reasons. and I'll have NO time saturday morning at all. thanks, derby. ;)

breakfast:
eggs
cheese
salsa
sour cream

lunch:
roast beef
small handful of walnuts
americano w/cream & sweetener

dinner:
roast beef
chayote squash
mashed cauliflower

so I broke my nut rule again. I swear, they make a difference in my mood. I was feeling weird today, craving nuts like crazy, so I had maybe 5 or 6 walnuts, and felt notably better. maybe I'm lacking something they have in them. dunno. but I can't make it a daily habit.

or twice daily, and violating new dietary rules, like I did today. stupid anxiety. I wish I could say the snack didn't make me feel better, but it did. medicating with food is bad. I'm going to have nuts at breakfast tomorrow too, if I wake up anxious. lame. I hate justifying my own bullshit.

late:
1 square 90% cocoa
small handful of nuts
nut bar (I was making a batch for the bout and they were breaking up...and I'm weak. sigh.)

my league has a bout on saturday. I'm already nervous about clothes, even though everything is pretty much packed and ready to go. footwear is the bane of my existence right now.

breakfast:
eggs
cheese
pepperoni

lunch:
americano w/cream & sweetener (always, always decaf)
chicken
cheese (I bought a bunch of really good cheese the other day, and am being a bit nuts with it, clearly)

dinner:
zucchini noodles
sauce w/chicken & cheese

stupid grey day

crappy weather day, my mood is more suited to the sun today. ;)

breakfast:
omelet with leftover turkey taco meat, salsa, cheese, sour cream
coconut oil

coconut water (went skating, sweated my nonexistent balls off, needed to rehydrate)

lunch:
pepperoni
cheese
americano w/cream and sweetener

dinner:
chicken
salad w/dressing
broccoli w/butter
coconut oil

3 strawberries. I was at a party and didn't want to have another dinner and also didn't want to eat anything super high carb, so that was what I got away with. I'm not sure if I feel guilty or not.

day 2 of NO herbalist cream...don't forget.

practice was brutal last night. the only time in my life I've ever sweated as much as when I'm skating at practices was when I was doing ashtanga yoga all the time (which basically turned me into a sweat factory).

i think the coconut water is really good for hydrating, but I balk at the carbs in it. especially since after having it at friday's practice, I was STARVING when I got home. but I didn't eat, I just went to bed. it still beats gatorade, or that nestea crap with splenda in it.

FYI...splenda kills the good bacteria in your gut. not what you want, trust me.

anyhoo!

breakfast:
eggs
roast beef
tea w/cream, stevia

lunch:
pepperoni stick
americano w/cream, sweetener

dinner:
turkey
roast beef
salsa
sour cream
cheese

where did the nice weather go?

I don't know if it's like this for the rest of north america, but our weather forecasts are so inaccurate, that it's shocking. I used to listen to this one station, on AM no less, and I knew that whatever they said the next day's weather would be would be dead wrong. predicting sun? bring your umbrella. predicting rain? don't bother. anyway...yesterday was supposed to be nice (was ugly and rainy), today was supposed to rain, and so far, it's pretty good.

ah, banality. :D

so I made a batch of nut bars. eating them is a novelty now, but they just don't taste as awesome or addictive as they used to. which I'm counting as a huge win. :D and I'm supposed to be going out for lunch today, which my control freak tendencies are not looking forward to.

breakfast:
yogurt w/almond butter and a chopped up nut bar

lunch:
eggs, bacon & chorizo
few bites of hash browns (WHY? I have NO idea.)
americano w/cream & sweetener
1/2 nut bar
1 small square lindt 85%

dinner:
chicken
salad
other half of the aforementioned nut bar

coconut water

saturdaaay

breakfast:
leftover pork (that would make a good band name, hahaha)
oopsie rolls w/almond butter and sf peach preserves
small handful of nuts (like 6 nuts total)

snack (breakfast was obscenely early, I couldn't sleep!):
cinnamon bun muffin and a half (which I made: coconut flour, sweetened with erythritol, xylito, stevia and 1 tsp of molasses for the entire batch)
americano w/cream & sweetener

lunch:
leftover pork
nut bar

dinner:
chicken
salad
nut bar

I got totally manhandled by my chiropractor yesterday, and am sore today! ye gads.

so my weight is finally starting to creep down. snacking and desserts, which count as a second and oftentimes a third, were the culprits, I guess! I've been drinking club soda with stevia, so the taste of sweet doesn't seem to be the problem. anyway...yay! I'm sticking with the no-s. it's not painful, and I realistically should be eating that way anyway. even though I'm rarely hungry for lunch anymore.

breakfast:
steak
mozzarella cheese

lunch:
iced espresso, cream, sweetener

dinner:
pulled pork of extreme awesomeness, as i'm now calling it. it's pork tenderloin with SF peach preserves, fresh jalapeno peppers, onions, salt, etc, cooked to the point of falling apart goodness.
broccoli
red peppers

I'm also having a half-serving of coconut water, bringing it to practice. that stuff is nature's gatorade. hahahaha!

Total Calories: 1323

6%	60%	34%
Carbs	Fats	Protein

net carbs: 18.1 (thanks, coconut water)