Sunday, July 20, 2008

day 7

I had such a fun day today.  everything was cool, I was in a great mood, having the best day in awhile (save for forgetting to eat for HOURS and getting murderously cranky).

then I saw some video of me, shot today.  that absolutely squashed my good mood and basically ruined my good day.  it was horrifying to see what a behemoth I am, and how my face doesn't even look cute anymore.  so completely discouraging.  I can't even DEAL with it now.  this is WHY I tell my camera-happy family to NOT TAKE PICTURES OF ME OR TAPE ME UNAWARES.  it just trashes my self-worth.  even though I know that's silly and it shouldn't, it DOES all the same.  until I feel  better about myself and I can handle it, keep your cameras, etc, AWAY from me.  WHY can't people respect that?!!!

I'm sure I'll be fine in a few days, but right now, I just want to die.  I hope I can sleep tonight.

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