2 lbs down this week!  yeah!

this week has been a dumb one, rife with family drama and stress.  I can't believe I didn't pull out all my hair.  and tonight, a concert.  tomorrow, a  party (which I secretly really don't want to go to...shhhh).  and I have to sneak in as much skating as I can!

anyway, tape time.

arm: 13.5
chest: 44
waist: 39
hips: 47
thigh: 24.5

another half inch.  ok, so bodies are weird.  when I'm not losing lbs, I'm losing inches.  when I'm not losing inches, I'm losing lbs...wtf?  losing is still losing though.  :)

I think I need to eat less nuts.  period.  but it's so hard!  hahaha!

it's measuring day, let's get that out of the way now.

arm: 13.5
chest: 44
waist: 39
hips: 47
thigh: 25

let's see...that is down another 2.5 inches!  bodies are so weird.  anyway, 15 inches gone.  now if the damn scale would just start budging, I'd feel better.  how sick is that?  I'm shrinking, which is the goal, and the scale is bugging me.  I should take the scale and throw it against a wall.  ha!

(I won't throw it away of course.  stupid obsessive nature.)

ok, so I'm being slack about updating, but I can assure you, I'm still on plan.  :)

*whew*...down another lb.  :)  that really shouldn't dictate my mood or how I feel about myself, but that made me pretty happy.  stupid scale mentality!

since starting nuts, I feel like I have way more energy.  now to just make myself DO something with it.  the tendons I'd apologized to in advance for using despite the soreness are making things difficult.  note to self: go to the doctor.

anyhoo...off and running.  :)

I'm frustrated.

my weight loss has not only slowed to a halt, but it looks like I might be gaining.  I feel bloated too, which worries me.  a pair of jeans which had been getting loose suddenly feels tight in a few areas, which freaks me out.  and I've been so fricking good foodwise.  it just SUCKS.  there is no earthly reason why I should be getting bloated either, I'm drinking a ton of water and eating less salt than I used to.   but the retention, I feel it, even in my hands a little.  fuck.

arm: 14
chest: 44.5
waist: 39.75
hips: 47.5
thigh: 25.25

bodies are damn frustrating.  down another inch.  thank god.   so I've lost 12.5 inches.  I shouldn't let the weight thing get to me, BUT IT DOES.  argh.

monday!

I'm back.  the trip was fun, though cut a bit short, and I DID spend too much $$$, but I had a blast and didn't cheat on the diet even once.  :)  it's too early in the game to give myself that kind of leeway!

anyhoo...all's well.  still on plan.  I bought some macadamia nuts today, and they are awesome.  :)

1 more lb gone.  hallelujah.  come on body, don't test my patience!  ;)

off to work, then getting out of dodge for a couple of days.  oh man, may the restaurants I go to have low carb options.  I'm STILL nervous about eating out.  stupid control freak tendencies!  ;)  if I can just relax, I'll be fine... 

I'll be away this weekend, so I may as well measure now. 

last saturday:

arm:14.5
chest: 45
waist: 40
hips: 49
thigh: 26

today:

arm: 14
chest: 45
waist: 40
hips: 47.5

thigh: 25.5

another 2.5 inches gone, yay!  weird that my waist stayed the same, that's not the usual.  makes me wonder why I'm getting barrel shaped, from the side anyway.  or something.  oh well, smaller is still smaller and I shouldn't complain, right?  that brings me to 11.5 inches gone.  :)

day whatevs

still here. still hanging in. still hanging at the SAME WEIGHT for over a week now. grrrr.

I'm going away this weekend, and I'm nervous to have no control over how my food is prepared while I'm gone. plus: I can BUY some awesome stuff to have when I get home. minus: staying on plan on vacation is hard. totally do-able though, I think.

I'm too hot and crampy and just want to go home and soak my head feet.

tis august third!

yay!  sort of.  summer is half over!  where the hell did it go???

I have a birthday party to go to tonight.  the mother of the birthday boy plus one other person are (is?) on atkins too, so I made a vanilla coconut cheesecake, with chocolate cream frosting.  thank goodness I'm not counting CALORIES.

hopefully I'll be hungry enough to have some once the time comes.  it's been a meatfest around here today!

I'm not numbering days anymore.

so it really is hitting home, and I don't know if I mentioned this before (and am too lazy to go and sift through my inane ramblings to find out if I did or not), but I just have to accept the fact that I can't have grains or sugar anymore.  or carrots.  maybe someday, on the carrots, *possibly* the grains, but at this point, I can't regard those things as food.  

it blows my mind that we think we can just keep weight off when "finishing" a diet.  if you go back to the eating that made you fat, guess what's going to happen?  you'll gain it all back and then some.  I know this from experience.  but the logic there is what makes me shake my head.  and despite having been on various diets for the past 23 years, I'm only NOW getting it.  if you go on a diet, you have to continue to eat that way for the rest of your life.  weight watchers?  stay on it forever.  low-fat?  keep at it.  portion control?  have your cup and eat what's in it too.  thank goodness for atkins, or I'd be cranky constantly.

now then, this being saturday, it's time for measurements.  shudder.  I'm only down a lb this week but I'm not going to stop.  a lb is still a pound.  :)

last week:

arm: 14.5
chest: 45.5
waist: 41
hips: 49.5thigh: 26.5

this week:

arm:14.5
chest: 45
waist: 40
hips: 49thigh:26

2.5 more inches, bringing me up to 9 inches gone so far.  

there's still progress, it's still good, it's still good!

day 5 part deux?

so work this week has been boring. not just lousy movie boring, or trying to ignore children's programming with no other form of mental stimulation available boring, more like incomprehensible economics lecture by a monotone professor in a dim room boring. there are 2 other people in my department here, and three in the adjoining one. out of the 4 people who give me work, 0 of them are in today. my phone has rung a grand total of THREE (3) times since 8 am. so I'm TRYING to look busy...is it working?

I'm not sure if it's the boredom or the weather that's leading me to exhaustion. maybe it's the new schedule. maybe it's bad sleep habits consistently kept for so long. I don't know, but I DO know that I am beat. considering how much I've been napping lately, I should be bouncing off the walls, not exhausted to the point where I'm thinking of not going to a party tonight.

it's still wet outside, so I can't skate, and running is def. out of the question until I get my stupid tendons attended to. which sounds like a band name: tendons attended, opening for out of the question, on their LAST TOUR EVER!

despite the insanity? still on track. :)